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Tuesday 8 August 2017

Cricket pitch

I am learning to write a piece of prose-  a sketch with detailed words, about a particular place, that is very important to me
I know I have achieved this when I can describe this sketch of the place,in specific detail. To do this I need to:

  • Use specific nouns
  • Activate the nouns with strong verbs


It's the little things in life
My chosen place - cricket pitch
Many wickets collapsing in the top order as a hot Summer's day drifts on.
Bales tumbling while wickets falling in the fired up game

Batters decimating the run rate and total score they created a good total

Fielders absolutely amaze the crowd with their outstanding boundary savers  and efforts.
Bowlers eliminating everything in their path to get the much needed win.
Creased lines smudging  as the batters and bowlers get more anticipated for the win.
Supporters supporting on the  sideline their fellow teams and great efforts by others.
Vehicle owners  moving cars back,  after hearing the upcoming bet on who can hit the furtherest..


My chosen place - the cricket pitch



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7 comments:

  1. Anonymous8 August 2017 at 11:48

    Hi Flynn
    Love this piece - really makes it easy for us to visualise where you are. Your very strong verbs activate your nouns well - making it highly interesting and captivating. Nice work

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous8 August 2017 at 11:49

    Hi Flynn,

    I think you did a really great job on your prose writing.
    What would you change?

    Megan
    Year 8
    Drummond Primary School

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous8 August 2017 at 11:49

    Hi Flynn,
    Great work on your writing! I really like how you have used strong verbs to make this writing more interesting. I think you have really hit the criteria.

    Emma
    Drummond

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous8 August 2017 at 11:49

    Hi flynn

    I really liked the words you had like eliminated. Is cricket your favourite sport?

    Carey
    Year 6
    Drummond

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8 August 2017 at 11:51

    Hi Flynn

    Your story is very effective and descriptive. You could find new word's to replace some word's you use twice. Great job.

    Khali
    Drummond School

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous8 August 2017 at 11:57

    Hi Flynn,

    I like your words like anticipated and outstanding. You need a full stop on the second row but everything is great.

    Angelo
    Room 4
    Drummond Primary School

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous9 August 2017 at 11:40

    kia ora,
    this was really interesting, I actually really like cricket. Next time maybe you could use a different way to present you work like piktochart.

    Kind Regards
    Julia
    Yaldhurst Model School

    ReplyDelete

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